MEDFORD, Ore. — “No parent should ever have to wonder if their child is going to take their own life because of something that’s happening that’s completely out of their control,” said Trina, a mother who says her daughter was bullied at Lone Pine Elementary in Medford. “No parent should have to continue to beg a school district to help them; no parent should have to do this.”
For Trina, sending her eleven-year-old daughter off to school every day is too often filled with tears and anxiety.
“This was not just girls being dramatic. This was an eleven-year-old being told to kill herself,” she said. “This was an eleven-year-old being called derogatory names that I wouldn’t say.”
Trina says her daughter along with her daughter’s best friend, who we’ve chosen not to name, were victims of incessant and vicious bullying.
“They were having panic attacks,” she said. “They were making up reasons not to go to school.”
She says it started last school year in 5th grade at Medford’s Lone Pine Elementary.
“Just kind of the mean girl stuff at that point… snarky comments, saying horrible things,” she said.
Trina asked that the girls be separated when 6th grade began last fall. She was thankful when the school agreed, but she says it didn’t help.
“She would ridicule our children on the playground, she would call them names, she would tell other students horrible things,” she said.
Trina says after raising concerns in a parent-teacher conference in November, the school got the girls together to talk it out. Again, she says things didn’t improve.
“I emailed daily… daily occurrences,” she said. “And from our perspective, there wasn’t a lot of discipline taking place.”
Trina’s emails back up her claims of repeatedly reaching out to Gerry Flock, the principal of Lone Pine Elementary. Neither Flock nor the district will talk about this case because of privacy issues.
In January, after Trina says her daughter’s backpack was vandalized by the girl, Principal Flock recommended she file a report with Medford Police.
The report shows the principal told police the school tried restorative friendship circles and conversations for conflict resolution. The school also met with the girls separately to hear both sides and made an arrangement for the girls to “remain separate and apart at all times at school” with consequences if they didn’t follow the rules.
In the end, the police report concluded the situation didn’t “rise to the level of disorderly conduct or direct threats of harm.”
“I continued to show up in his office weekly and ask for help… crying half the time out of frustration and desperation,” Trina said.
In February, Principal Flock wrote Trina saying the girl broke the rules the school established and she “will have consequences today for her non-compliance with the recess expectation.”
He also said the district could offer her daughter a spot at a middle school, but he said it is completely her choice.
“That tells me that if you’re enough of a bully, you get your way,” she said. “That teaches our child that when you are in a situation, it’s best to tuck, tail, and run.”
Trina filed a formal complaint and got the district office involved. The investigation was led by District Chief Academic Officer Michelle Cummings.
It concluded the girl was found to have violated school rules prohibiting bullying, harassment, and insubordination. According to the report, the girl admitted, “gossiping, pointing, staring, glaring, making faces, posting on social media, and not following Mr. Flock’s recess schedule.”
The report also says the girl apologized for her actions in writing, but she was not kicked out of school.
“I didn’t believe that having this formal investigation would change anything because a piece of paper doesn’t change people’s actions,” said Trina.
The district did create a “safety plan” separating the girls during all parts of the day and all areas of the school.
The girls had to alternate P.E. classes on Thursdays, sit away from each other in the cafeteria, and stay in separate areas of the playground at all times with “zero exceptions.”
“My daughter and her best friend were essentially separated from the entire sixth grade,” she said.
Still, Trina says the girl didn’t stay away from her daughter.
“On that day, I don’t know who couldn’t take this anymore. I’m not sure if it was her or it was me,” she said.
Within weeks, there was another incident.
“I couldn’t watch this happen anymore and I did the one thing I swore I wouldn’t do,” she said.
Coming up in part 2 of this story on Wednesday, how the principal says the alleged bully defiantly broke his rules and why Trina says nothing changed.
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