Ashland, Ore. — Video gone viral, of a young man telling his parents he is gay.
He is taping the whole thing, not expecting it to take the turn it does.
While the legalization of same sex marriage in 35 states — including Oregon — indicate a change in attitudes, much of those victories have come about as a result of court rulings, not a change of heart. A fact Ashland man Eric Worthey knows well.
He came out to his family and found a painful lack of acceptance. He had to move out of his home at just fifteen years old.
“It’s hard I mean, you know. Because all children love their mother obviously, and I had always defended her and stood up for her and I just felt like at that moment she wasn’t understanding where I come from.”
Worthey now lives on his own, attends Southern Oregon University, and is open about his status as a transgender man: meaning at birth he was designated a female, but now he’s a man.
Worthey says it took time to admit to his family and friends the truth, “I felt a lot of shame for who I was.”
A recent study of homeless youth centers by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force estimates as many as 40 percent of kids with nowhere to go are lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender or ‘LGBT’ and they were kicked out by their families.
And despite legal advances — the numbers may be rising — as kids feel more brave about coming out.
“They come out thinking they’re going to find acceptance and they find the opposite,” says Julie Akins the executive director of the lotus rising project, a non-profit support group for the LGBTQ community. She says discrimination in the home is there despite legal gains and changing attitudes.
“They are left friendless and family-less and alone.”
Despite what can be a difficult start both Akins and Worthey agree, It’s important LGBT youth understand, It gets better.
“They both turned around,” says Worthey, “Now that they see that I can be a healthy, happy individual and still act on my feelings that are not traditional.”
And Worthey urges anyone who is considering coming out to do so while understanding the possible reality of rejection. Have a back up plan and make sure you’re in a safe place.
Long term, Akins suggests the only way toward real progress is through understanding.
“All relationships are personal relationships and I think if each of us could understand that we all carry a heavy burden and that we need to share that burden with one another and get to know each other. I think that’s how strides happen.”
“I am the happiest I’ve ever been,” Worthey states, “I have a great level of accepting people that surround my life.”
If you would like to get in touch with lotus rising project visitwww.lotusrisingproject.org
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